Dark side of the Moon

Ever Notice how a distance will some how grow between the hours of 24h00 to 5h00.
Let me elaborate I got a sms (well mms) at 11pm last night which was cunningly pictured in such a manner as to lead me to the promised land, if I undertook the short journey from Johannesburg through to Pretoria East (a mere 65kms). Well let me tell you at 12 at night 65kms is a walk in the park. Packed my passport and some droewors to bribe the clutchie border guards and before you could say “little head thinking for big” I was there. However some time between the hours of 24h00 and 05h00 some farker decided to play a trick on the universe and mess with the time space continuum and moved Pretoria East out by another 200kms.

What the Fuck!!!

I mean getting up at five in the morning is one thing, leaving for work at five thirty is another, but the fact that the road seemed to stretch out into the murky morning for what looked like an extra 200 kms was downright fucking absurd!!!

And while I am on this point: It seemed that there had also been a meeting of Pretoria East residents at one this morning and it was agreed that they to would leave home for Johannesburg at five thirty just to keep me company. Rush hours traffic starting at five, do me a favor somebody had pulled off the most diabolically orchestrated practical joke in the known universe.

I now fully believe the human race is doomed to end their existence on this rocky outcrop not by nuclear annihilation, but by one massive gridlock that is so encompassing that it will cause the planets’ rotation to actually come to a grinding halt and we fall out of the Milky Way.

Extinction by rush hour, who would have believed!!!!

Ps. Too the pratt who has been expanding distances in the wee hours of the morning, please stop it you are pissing the planet off!

Q: What is the best thing about dating a homeless Chick?
A: After your date, you can drop her off anywhere.